Tag Archives: iOS

You’re skating on thin ice, Apple

Not so long ago, I purchased Apple’s third generation iPad. Although, it wasn’t called that. It was just called ‘The New iPad’. The public, being the public (i.e. stupid) referred to it as the iPad 3. Technically, this was wrong and, had Mr Jobs been alive, he’d no doubt have grabbed a mic, booked Wembley and explained why everyone was wrong. Alas Steve, god rest his soul, was dead, and with only the interminably dull Tim Cook to take his place, Apple decided instead to replace it with the ‘iPad with Retina Display’. This replaced the one I had, which has been deleted from history. The Ghost iPad, if you like. Confusingly, the new, 4th generation iPad (which isn’t called that), had the exact same body and Retina display as the old 3rd generation… sorry, New iPad. The only difference was a new, smaller charging connector which costs £3,000 to replace and a faster processor, which would be useful for the three people that play – and enjoy – games on their iPad.

If you’re confused, you’re not alone.

Regardless, for some reason I continue my wallet-sapping love affair with the world’s most valuable tech company. The only tech company in the world, in fact, that could get away with producing a television advert about copy and paste. No, really. A company which knowingly released a phone that put design before function. That function, in this case, was the ability for a phone to make a phone call.

Apple are, without doubt, one of the most flawed, yet brutally clever firms in existence.

This becomes ever more apparent when you first lay your hands on an Android device. I have recently, with the addition of a Samsung S3 Mini to my work toolbox. And what a tool it is.

There’s no need to build up to this statement, because it is unavoidably true: the S3 is a better phone than an iPhone. Hands down. No argument. If they were to have a fight, the S3 would knock out the fancy-pants device from Cupertino with a single punch.

The hardware is fairly irrelevant. Both are nice phones to hold and look suitably posh (although the iPhone is clearly the more expensive device, such is its engineering brilliance). No, it’s all about the software and it is now an unavoidable fact that iOS is about as current as a twenty minute guitar solo; we all loved it once, but now it’s faintly irritating.

Of greater concern is that Apple appears to be steadfastly sticking to their plan of small increments in functionality. This will be the undoing of them if they continue on such a blinkered, arrogant path. iOS 7 needs to be significantly different in order for them to maintain their user base. Locking people into iCloud, which only just works, and attempting to confuse them to death with iTunes Match, isn’t enough.

I’ll say it here and now – if Apple don’t develop a better mobile operating system which at least matches the functionality of the competition within the next 18 months, I will switch to Android and buy myself an iPod.

Possibly…

 

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Apple on the fiddle

Apple: lost without the big man?

Apple love big numbers. At their 2012 developers conference yesterday, they pulled out the biggest ever – 1 trillion.

“I think that’s the first time we’ve had that number up there,” exclaimed Scott Forstall, grinning and pointing at the gigantic letters looming over him. And I’m sure the crowd would have gasped, if the number hadn’t simply been an indication of how many push notifications the company has sent to iOS devices since the introduction of iOS5 last year. If you’re still reading, that is indeed the most boring statistic ever and something I shall never, ever think about ever again.

Still, at least they got to use the ‘t’ word…

There were lots of other numbers quoted during the keynote speech and most of them related to the next generation MacBook Pro. This is, according to Apple (and they should know), the best computer they have ever made. It features a retina display, which is a fancy way of describing a screen with a very high resolution and pixel density (still awake? Come on, keep going, don’t leave me now). It is also as thin as ice, has a very quick processor, room for many gigabytes of memory, the same battery they used in the Death Star and a fan system which uses asymmetrical blades to spread the noise over multiple frequencies.

Please try and stay with me.

Unfortunately, and as is usually the case with Apple’s top end stuff, no one will be able to afford the new MacBook Pro. Which is a shame. But that didn’t appear to bother Apple’s hierarchy yesterday. They were very excited about their new toy.

I make no bones about the fact that I am an Apple nut. I’ll talk about it until people vacate the room or punch me in the face to make it stop. If Apple make it, I’ll buy it. Apart from the stuff I can’t afford, obviously, like their new, sexy, super-mega-bastard laptop. I do have one slight concern following the WWDC keynote, though, and that’s that they appear to be simply fiddling rather than innovating.

The refreshed MacBook Air line is a good example of this, and – while I want one more than I want anything in the world – rather than move the tiny notebook idea on apace, they simply added a few beefier internal bits. I don’t think this is enough, particularly with Intel ultrabooks looking an increasingly attractive proposition.

Continuing on the hardware front, I don’t think it’s unfair to suggest that Steve Jobs wouldn’t have stood for the fact that the 3rd generation iPad is thicker and heavier than it’s predecessor. Nor would he like the name for the new iPad which is ‘the new iPad’ and which in turn begs the question: what the hell are they going to call it when the next one comes along?

It’s the same when it comes to software. For example, they’ve increased the functionality of the technically-flawed iCloud by allowing documents in the cloud and… well, that’s about it, really. No additional web apps, no proper streaming of media content to iOS devices and no decipherable explanation of what on earth iTunes Match is or how it works.

They’re updating Siri so that it will soon misunderstand the fact you want to know something about your local football team. It’ll also be able to grab the wrong end of the stick when you ask it to find, and place a booking at, a local indian restaurant. Providing you live in the US, of course.

But this is all fiddling, I’m afraid. Where’s the innovation? iCloud in particular has so much promise, yet continually fails to deliver with unreliable synchronisation, the confusing, over-complicated iTunes Match service and the infuriating iMessage which simply doesn’t ‘just work’ if you want to continue your conversations on multiple devices.

And, as nice as the top-line MacBook Pro is, it’s just a thinner laptop with a better screen. I want one more than I want to keep my legs, but it is just a computer.

If the rumours of an Apple television set are to be believed, it’ll have to be groundbreaking, as I think it’s the only place left to seriously innovate. Apple make nice-but-expensive computers, with easy-to-use, satisfying operating systems. However, the ecosystem they rely so heavily on, and the one thing that will continue to bring in new customers and provide a solid revenue stream, needs far more work and fiddling won’t push that along at all.

Erm. Right. There you go, then.

Obviously, I’ve already started saving for the new MacBook Air and I can’t wait for iOS6. Or Mountain Lion.

How much does someone want to give me for my legs?

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A cloudy day in PC world

WWDC 2011 - time for Apple to add a few more things they forgot at the outset

I got drunk a couple of years ago and signed up to MobileMe. It was a sixty day free trial so I figured there was little to lose.

Two months later, I got drunk again and forgot to cancel the subscription. Steve Jobs duly buried his hand into my trouser pocket and took £59. I couldn’t complain or ask for it back because I’d agreed to let him do so sixty days prior. I’d simply forgotten to cancel the trial and had chosen the expiry date to go out for a few beers. iWhoops.

He did the same thing a year later, although that time I was sober and had just resigned myself to the fact that he’d come along and relieve me of my hard earned every twelve months. Disclaimer: as much as I love Apple products, that is not a euphemism.

Then, a further year on, he didn’t bother. Instead, he took to a stage so large it could house three symphony orchestras to proclaim, quite simply, that MobileMe was in fact, utterly, totally, irreversibly shite.

And that was it. No ‘sorry’, or ‘here, have your £118 back’. Just a rare admission from the man who continues to reinvent everything (only to later add the important bits that were missing at the start via a series of updates) that one of their reinventions was ‘not our finest hour’.

I agree. It wasn’t even their finest fifteen minutes. MobileMe was, in principle, a good idea, if not a new one. It was expensive, though, and I am forever asking myself what I’m getting for £59. I have email, calendars and contacts synced between my various devices. I also have a 20GB iDisk which I occasionally put 40KB PDF files on. I used to have all that elsewhere and for free.

Still, MobileMe had cool graphics and the James Bond-like Find My iPhone which even featured a radar for the icon (that’s cool, right? Radars are definitely cool). Obviously, it wouldn’t find your iPhone – it would simply highlight a 20 mile radius in which it might be located. That’s not very useful. I could probably do the same thing myself just by thinking about it. But Find My iPhone had a green radar thing that swung around and beeped. So that made it all fine.

Anyway, I digress. Now we have iCloud which is free and a more rounded solution. But, as cool as it looks, that’s not what I want to talk about.

There was one word which seemed to permeate through the entire keynote address. It wasn’t preceded by an ‘i’, nor was it followed by the interminably irritating ‘it’s just beauuuutiful’ – a phrase Apple has even used to describe an email client’s reading pane.

The word was ‘PC’. Steve Jobs will occasionally point and laugh at this silly little acronym. In the past, he’s received a muffled guffaw from his adoring crowd as he highlights just how rubbish PCs are. How they have missed the point of personal computing entirely and continue to make each of our lives a living hell through their wrong approach to multi-tasking, wrong approach to security, poor hardware and for sleeping with our partners behind our backs.

Obviously, this is nonsense. PCs do work. They might not have the same pretty animations that Mac OS X has mastered so beauuuutifully, but they do a job and will continue to for the vast majority of home and business users on the planet Only, now, we’re being told that we can cut ourselves free of the PC. Snip through the digital umbilical cord, if you like. Apple even had a little icon for this.

Principally, they are referring to iOS 5 which includes the ability to wirelessly sync with iTunes and setup iOS devices without connecting them to a computer.

Of course, by ‘PC’ and the newly coined phrase ‘Post PC’, they are also referring to Macs (we’re not stupid, Steve) and it was encouraging to hear them ‘demote’ all devices – iPads, iPhones, laptops, desktops – to just that: devices. Bits of metal which can be setup independently and display all of the stuff we store on the cloud. Viewing panes into our remote, digital world. Nothing more. I like that.

I predict that, eventually, this will make complex operating systems a thing of the past. As Jobs noted, file systems are cumbersome and difficult for novices to get their heads around, yet they are the one thing we rely on almost every day. Why not let applications and web servers do the work? This premise is put to fantastic use in iOS.

I also predict, as I have noted to people in the past, that OS X will continue to turn into iOS. It’s happening already with Lion; full screen apps and Launchpad (iOS-esque app organisation) were present at yesterday’s demo. Those that need more functionality (and by that, I mean principally developers and bedroom tweakers [no laughing at the back]) will continue to have the tools they need to do their jobs via SDKs. But us, the everyday user? Cutting the link between ourselves, our devices and our desktop machines is just the start. I think the people at Apple gave us quite a significant glance into the future yesterday.

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Technology over substance

Airplay

Airplay. Brilliant, but a techno-wow too far?

As Band Aid stuttered through the hifi and – after a valiant effort to make it to the first chorus – eventually disappeared entirely, I knew only one thing; my Airport Express had decided to cease working for the second time that day and at an equally inconvenient juncture.

We were hosting our first and only Christmas party of the festive season and, an hour before our guests were due to arrive, my rarely used AE had decided to remove itself entirely from my home network. There was no trace of it, it had indeed gone AWOL and hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye. The green ‘everything’s ok!’ light stayed steadfastly lit, grinning at me like an illegitimate, spoilt child.

After a tiny amount of non-festive swearing and a great deal of self-persuading that throwing it down the street would not a fix produce, a full reset to factory settings did the trick.

This lasted approximately three hours, by which time we were all sitting down to enjoy the hearty Christmas dinner my fiancé and I had slaved over. No sooner had I plunged my fork into a sizeable chunk of turkey had Boy George started doing an impromptu bit of beat boxing instead of his usual verse.

“Mark, for Christmas, I’m going to buy you a CD player and some CDs,” said my friend.

That struck a chord, if you’ll excuse the pun. As clever as the Airport Express/Airplay setup I’d been relying on was, it was proving to be, unfortunately, completely and utterly unreliable.

Yes, it looked cool. Swanning around the house with my iPad, showing anyone who cared (there weren’t many) that I could make music come out of my hifi via my oversized iPod Touch without wires made me feel like Steve Jobs, striding across the stage at an Apple event leading an expectant crown on to the next ‘wow’ moment.

That’s great, until the bloody thing stops working. And, then, yes, why not just go back to good old CDs? What was wrong with them?

It’s made me question the benefit of such technological wizardry.

Apple made a big thing about Airplay this year and rightly so. Being able to wirelessly stream audio and video around your house is convenient, enjoyable and, in this form, relatively inexpensive. But, then, where is Mr Jobs when it all goes wrong? Quite often, he’s standing there, pointing the finger, blaming us, the humble user. We’re holding it wrong. It wasn’t designed for that. It’s Thursday. You’ve got an uncle called Jim. It’s your fault.

As much as I felt like heading over to the Apple boss’ house to wrap my iPad around his neck and force-feed him the Airport Express, I couldn’t afford the time or air miles, therefore settled for good old MTV instead. That worked. Flawlessly.

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