Tag Archives: John Terry

Athletes vs footballers: no contest

School sports day at Millway Middle School was always a welcome distraction from the rigors of secondary school education (you know, having religious texts forced down your throat and attempting to set fire to your mate’s hair with a Bunsen burner). It was also fun.

Until I nearly killed a fellow pupil.

It wasn’t my fault, I hasten to add. In fact, I’m almost certain it was his. As I neared the marker for the shot put, I glanced at the rows of kids and teachers lining the boundaries. They were all standing there in quiet anticipation, waiting for yet another attempt at what must surely be one of the greatest displays of manhood. I was excited, too. There were probably one or two girls amongst the throng and I was going to show just how hard I was by lobbing a heavy ball of metal across a field. I spotted a house a few hundred yards away, beyond the school fence. Perhaps I’d hit that.

I took a run up (long enough to be illegal) and thrust the ball forward (incorrectly enough to be illegal) with all of my might. Heads slowly turned as it blasted through the dense summer air, spinning slightly on its axis, heading for a world record – a record I’m confident I would have broken, had one of the kids not leaned forward for a better view. As he did so, the rock-solid lump of metal smashed straight into the side of his head.

He dropped to the floor, motionless. A crowd gathered. “You idiot, Mark!” could be heard, several times, possibly from a teacher.

That moment he lay on the floor seemed to last an eternity. He didn’t move. I didn’t move. Curiously, the teachers didn’t move either, which, on reflection, doesn’t paint the best picture of their regard for health and safety.

And then, like a bolt, he stood upright. “I’m ok.”

We all breathed a sigh of relief. I cancelled plans to run home crying. The teachers simply flicked me a synchronised look of despair. The sporting prowess I had displayed had clearly saved me from a detention. This was yet another memorable sporting event on the school field and, while it can’t be compared directly, the same rush of adrenaline was felt by millions of us on Saturday 4th August as Team GB picked up three gold medals in the space of an hour (although, thankfully, without attempting to kill each other in the process).

I’ll say here and now that I have never witnessed such an amazing piece of sport than that of Mo Farah triumphantly making the 10,000m his own. Never before had this great nation won the event. Never before had such expectation and pressure been placed on the shoulders of a single, ordinary man. And he just did it. Seven days later he did it again in the 5000m, which is possibly even more astonishing.

Likewise, Jessica Ennis has been the unfortunate recipient of the eternally irritating ‘poster girl’ moniker yet she too delivered, without any drama, a display of breathtaking athletic brilliance and will quite rightly be adored by a generation for a generation for doing so.

The feeling of utter elation on that Saturday night was tangible. Until Gary Linekar suggested we watch the dieing moments of Team GB’s football match which had hit penalties.

Which we lost. To South Korea.

In an instant, Sturridge’s miss summed up everything that is wrong with our beautiful game. The giant spectre of our athletes’ brilliance has cast a formidable, dark shadow on the footballers of this great nation.

I say this as a life-long football fan: they are absolute failures.

Why? Let’s once again focus the spotlight on Mr Rooney. Here is a grown man who could not cope with pressure if it came with an instruction manual. Which is mainly because he probably can’t read. So, bad example. But the fact remains that, when asked to step up for his country, he fails, every time. Rather than get his head down and bust a gut like our boys and girls in white and blue, he stomps about the pitch like a spoilt teenager. There’s no denying he has the talent, which makes his blind ignorance to the hypnotic, emotional investment we as a nation place in those that are touched with sporting brilliance all the more unbearable. How we’d love to see him push himself to the point of breaking in order to grab a last-minute World Cup quarter final winner. How he’d be adored. Alas, that will never happen.

I won’t compare salaries, because that’s an obvious target, but I will compare good, old fashioned humanity and sporting values, and the likes of Rooney and John Terry should be ashamed of themselves.

The Olympic torch was put out last night. I’ll miss it more than I’ve missed any football tournament. I wasn’t looking forward to the games, but I’m now fully aware of what all the fuss was about. On reflection, it isn’t even the sport I’ll miss – its the people. Brilliant, talented, normal people who we should cherish for as long as they’re with us.

Go Team GB.

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Fancy a Game of 5-a-Side, Wayne?

Wayne Rooney

Image via Wikipedia

More than most of us would earn in a year… Some, in a lifetime… Obscene… Unfathomable… Other worldly… Ridiculous… The figures bandied about last week justified the resulting headlines, aggravated coffee-table discussions and lengthened trips to the water cooler. Depending on which newspaper pops through your letterbox, Rooney’s estimated earning potential if he moved to arch rivals Manchester City ranged anywhere from £200,000 to £500,000. Per week.

Such news is not as immediately shocking as it would have been ten years ago. Not in an age where we see players like Yaya Toure joining Manchester City for a reported £220,000 per week, or John Terry leisurely picking up £150K pay for a week nursing a bad back and fiddling with his co-worker’s girlfriends. No, we’re used to these figures. They’re dangerously close to becoming the norm. Indeed, I was surprised to hear Andy Carroll’s Newcastle wage rose to ‘only’ £30,000 per week after signing his new contract. I even felt a little bit sorry for the Tyneside front man.

Back to Rooney. Last week’s debacle left me under no doubt that my suspicions surrounding Wayne and his management team were entirely reasonable.

They’re as thick as two short planks. The lot of them.

Rooney’s agent, Paul Stretford, was hailed by a few to be a ‘genius’ after week-long discussions with Man Utd ended with their prized asset signing a new five-year deal worth, if you do some very rudimentary sums, around £40m.

I’m not sure how people came to that conclusion. Genius? If we apply that to his method of making money, yes. Fair enough. I’m sure he chewed on a very fat cigar last Friday.

PR genius? Er, no.

His first mistake was allowing any of this to go public. Footballers survive on one thing – fan loyalty. Once you lose the fans, you’re as good as gone. Therefore, relations between fan and player must be protected. Fans are the only constant in football and they’re the hardest to please; threatening the thin thread by which that relationship hangs is lunacy.

By arguing out such a vile contract dispute in full earshot of the entire world – one that is facing global economic problems – was distasteful, needless and downright stupid. Doing it during the week of the most important UK spending review in the last twenty years amounts to quite simply the most ignorant, insensitive, childish piece of PR I’ve ever witnessed. It wouldn’t compound the ill feeling, would it, Paul? Nah, ‘course not.

His second mistake was to encourage Rooney to insist his reasons for wanting to leave were down to a lack of club ambition. Doing so when you’ve hit rock bottom form-wise does nothing other than demonstrate how few brain cells you have limping around your vacuous cavern of a skull. Rooney hasn’t played well for months and, regardless of the reason behind it, is in no position to start demanding anything – least of all commitment – from a club he seems to have no problem distancing himself from the instant they refuse to  succumb to his wage demands.

And what about his fellow professionals? In one sweeping statement, he essentially labelled them all not-fit-for-purpose. That explains the flailing hand gestures whenever a pass or cross intended for him went awry (an irritating habit of Rooney’s which spilled into his England game and contributed in no small part to the subsequent dropping of Walcott from the World Cup squad).

There’s no doubting Rooney is potentially one of the best players this country has produced. But he is also one of the most petulant and displays a staggering inability to cope with being in the limelight.

If, as we keep being told, he simply wants to play football, I have a solution for him. Radical, but by far the safest for the already frail sanity of English football.

Quit. Live off your riches and play non-league football. Actually, why not five-a-side on Thursday nights for the local pub team? That way, Wayne gets his football fix and is free of the traps of the modern game.

And before you scoff at what sounds like a pointless, unworkable solution, just think: would we miss him? England wouldn’t. He’s been consistently the worst international performer for a long time and adds nothing to our team (I’m still waiting for someone to convince me otherwise). Would Utd miss him? On Sunday’s showing at Stoke, possibly not.

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Capello Misses a Trick

Fabio Capello

Capello: 12 minutes. Done.

So, after exactly a week of every Tom, Dick and Harry lending their press-influenced views on the most boring scandal ever to grace football, it took Fabio Capello just 12 minutes to deliver the bad news to John Terry.

The Chelsea skipper will captain the England team no more.

I’m disappointed. Not in Capello (well, not entirely – read on to hear why); he did the only thing he could after the relentless media-led pressure we’ve witnessed over the last seven days. It didn’t matter how many people – like me – failed to see the connection between a footballer’s extra marital relations and his ability to captain the national team; there was simply no way Terry could continue to be captain with such a black cloud hanging over him. Capello did the right thing.

Incidentally, it wouldn’t surprise me if we’ve all actually forgotten what the offence was, exactly – it seems so irrelevant now.

I’m continually impressed by an England manager who clearly doesn’t mess about. While pressure undoubtedly led him to this decision, you can be sure he made it confidently, quickly and without a second thought of what anyone else might think. He wants to win the World Cup and doesn’t give a toss who he upsets on the way. I like that.

I don’t like his decision to simply realign the captaincy, though. Ferdinand? Really? He may have been second in line but has hardly played all season. When he was playing, he was hardly at the top of his game. Yes, he’s had a chequered past, too, but this isn’t the root cause of my dismay today.

If anything, Capello should be assessing whether or not Ferdinand is fit for a place in the World Cup squad at all, let alone lead it.

He’s missed a trick here, Capello. Gerrard should have taken Terry’s place. No?

I’m willing to be proved wrong though, Fabio. Please don’t let this uncharacteristically weak decision make a mockery of my praise for you above…

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John Terry: Sensationalism Gone Mad.

John Terry

John Terry: Enough Already

Yesterday, I drove roughly 350 miles. Along the majority of those congestion-strewn roads, I listened to Talksport. I usually do this while out on the road and it isn’t typically a problem. Yesterday, however, it was.

For a total of around 6 hours I was treated to one long, continuous debate about John Terry, his extra-marital relations and whether or not he should still be England captain.

Every DJ on the station (and not in the least Stan Collymore who I think may have been playing with himself whilst endlessly spurting pointless superlatives about the supposed forthcoming meeting between Terry and Capello; “Capello is a greatly morale man and will not at all be concerned with what John Terry does behind closed doors away from the big lights and spectacle of the beautiful game”) simply repeated their views again and again. As did the callers. And the guests. When all was said and done, there were only about 3 different views; they were simply regurgitated, modified and drawn out each time they were expressed. I literally had a headache as I finally turned into my street at the end of the day.

I’m not going to embellish on this massively boring subject too much further, but I will give my opinion.

What John Terry does off the pitch is his business and his business only. I find all the debate over the affair hugely uncomfortable. It’s clear us Brits have a massive problem with sex (more so than the US, I’d say) and are so easily appalled by anything relating to it that it is invariably made a big deal of when something like this happens.

He’s a great defender and a very good captain. What he does away from the pitch is totally irrelevant. End of story. The only reason this has been made front page news is because the way in which everything is sensationalised these days.

Whenever we approach a big tournament like the World Cup, the press in this country reach for their knives and start their level best to completely screw up any chance England have of doing well. Why wouldn’t they? We love wallowing in our own misery in this country; if England go out in the group stages they’ll sell lots more papers.

Finally, are footballers role models? No, of course they’re not. They swear, spit, fight, cheat and spunk their ridiculous earnings up the wall. Any notion that the are to be held on a pedestal by anyone is daft. Yes, kids admire them and want to be them, but that’s life, I’m afraid. I’m sure they want to be film stars, too, but how many parents would want their child to turn into Lindsey Lohan?

There we go. 463 words and I’m done.

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