Tag Archives: sky news

Jul 17 2011
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In the news

British Smash

Concerned about British Gas’s forthcoming astronomical price rises? Don’t be. Chris Jansen, their MD, is here to help.

“Personally, I’ll help any customer,” he said on TV recently, adjusting his cape and superhero mask. “Email me at chris.jansen@britishgas.co.uk.”

So, I did. Having been with British Gas for over ten years, I felt I deserved at least an explanation as to why my bills are about to be smashed by an 18% price hike. After all, in the ten years they’ve paid someone else to pump gas and electricity into my house, the only offer I’ve had from them is for boiler cover. Or a new boiler. Free of charge, I wondered? No, I’d have to pay for either, but they would send the nice smiley man you see on the adverts who definitely wouldn’t rape me.

In my email, I asked why British Gas deemed it necessary to increase their prices by so much and why they chose now, of all times, to do it. Steer clear of bullshit, I told him. I also highlighted that I’m an EnergySmart customer, which has marginal benefits.

To my surprise, Chris replied and, after a long winded, bullshit-ridden list of excuses about rising fuel costs, recommended I switch to EnergySmart.

Now, forgive me for being pedantic, but if you say you’re going to personally respond to customers, surely you should be true to your word and do just that. What I received was quite clearly a formulated reply. A template knocked up by a copy writer quickly after Chris’ appearance on Sky News. Something he could ask someone else to send to muggles like myself who bothered to get in touch.

To cut a long story short, after threatening to go and live in the woods and thus avoid the need for gas and electric, Chris replied somewhat more personably and offered to stuff my walls with cavity insulation, free of charge. It wasn’t clear whether he’d come round to do it himself, but he was quite insistent that I should take him up on his offer. He also pointed out that I could gain Nectar Points because I’m a British Gas customer. That would be great, if I had a Nectar card and if I actually wanted a pair of one-size-fits-all gloves or a new torch. Mind you, if these price rises continue, I’ll probably be thankful of them.

Lastly, the money shot. He brought out the big guns. Something that would win back my trust. SuperChris would credit my account with £75…

…in nine months time. If I’ve bothered to stay with them.

Thanks.

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Mar 15 2011
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In the news

Now Showing: Sky News Earthquake Coverage

Eamonn Holmes

Eamonn Holmes: I'm not a fan. As you can probably tell.

Slow fades. Booming rumbles and crashes containing enough sub-30hz material to rattle your teeth out. Stark, block graphics and text creating a sense of grandeur. There was even a cliff-hanger…

You would be excused for assuming I was watching the trailer for a new J. J. Abrams epic this morning. But, no, it was an advert for Sky News’ coverage of the earthquake disaster in Japan.

And not just ‘normal’ coverage. Oh, no. ‘Continuous coverage’, spat out the embossed and heavy font covering a black void which had moments before crossfaded footage of floating cars, shipping vessels being crushed like toys and destroyed villages. All that was missing was a few clips of Jason Statham chewing bullets whilst round-house kicking people in the face.

There is something deeply unsettling about Sky News and their insistence on making blockbusters out of real-life disasters. They seem eager – desperate, almost – for something horrific to happen just so they can create a new logo and theme tune to market it.

The fat, eternally nonchalant figure of Eamonn Holmes sat at his desk this morning, leaning casually on one elbow. They’d called in the thirty-sixth ‘expert’ in as many minutes and Eamonn was on a mission to make a nuclear mountain out of a safe zone molehill.

“So, what can you tell me now? What is the current threat to the people of Japan?” he asked the clearly agitated expert who could surely offer little more than some Oxford-educated nuclear predictions. He was in Coventry. That’s quite a long way from Fukushima. I forget his exact answer, but, roughly translated, it was something like, “I can’t answer that question, you idiot. I’m not in Japan.”

What’s more, moments earlier, the aircraft-carrier-sized former GMTV presenter had reluctantly and barely audibly informed us that the radiation levels were, in fact, falling. Great news, no?

No. Good news is most definitely bad news for Mr Murdoch and co. They thrive on drama and hearsay. News isn’t news at Sky unless it is stretched out to the nth degree of speculation.

It’s telling, however, that they appear to have abandoned one of their most irritating disaster coverage rituals: sending out roving reporters to every corner of the disaster zone. They’re nowhere to be seen this time around. As far as I’m aware, you can still enter Japan, so why haven’t they gone?

Ground-breaking news? Ground-breaking cowardice, more like.

My best wishes to all affected by the disaster.

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Apr 28 2010
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General, In the news

Brown ‘Bigot Gaffe’ is Boring

Gordon Brown

Brown. Who'd be a politician?

As often as I watch it, I freely admit I’m not a fan of Sky News. Their insistence on making mountains out of molehills is teeth grindingly irritating and, quite often, toe curlingly embarrassing; particularly when they partake in the grilling of news subjects who have clearly said all they need to say. Just shut up, Kay Burley. Move on.

Maybe that makes me two faced. If it does, I’m with you, Gordon Brown.

Today, he called a 66-year-old woman from Rochdale a bigot having just engaged in what looked like a somewhat frustrating conversation with her. Mrs Duffy (how often will we hear that name over the next few months/years?) was a straight-talking, honest woman with very clear views, and there’s nothing wrong with that. She was a handful and the conversation she struck up with the PM ended up being a very one-sided affair.

The resulting ‘insult’ was uttered off-the-cuff, in the back of the PM’s car as he departed the housing estate. It was mildly amusing, but certainly nothing to lose sleep over. It won’t sway my vote either way.

The lady in question, while clearly not a bigoted racist, wasn’t without fault herself. As someone I follow on Twitter quite accurately summed up:

The “bigot” complains her grandchildren might have to pay to go to uni, then at the end says they’ve just come back from Australia…

But, of course, no one’s interested in analyzing her comments. Everyone is now interested in one word – ‘bigot’.

It’s not Brown’s fault, I’m afraid. In my opinion, the reason for the endless, tedious replays of the incident in question lies squarely at the feet of the media. They will run this story into the ground, drag in every no-mark ‘expert’ or columnist to provide their take on it. They’ll constantly say ‘we’ve received lots of Tweets and emails about this’ before reading out the most damning. And they will do this for the rest of the week, regardless of what else happens in the world.

There is more of a hint of bias about Sky News’ coverage in particular, with every sentence uttered by their reporters seemingly intent on painting the PM as a nasty bit of work.

I don’t think he is. Throughout this election campaign, I’ve warmed to him (and this comes from someone who has written some pretty disparaging thing about him on this very website). I like the fact he freely admits he isn’t comfortable in certain situations and I actually like the way he deals with the regular gaffes he makes. The footage of his apology on Radio 2 showed a man completely and utterly knackered and fed up with it all. He’s quintessentially British and part of me admires that.

Yes, he’s made a mess of things, but who would want his job? In any position of power or management, you have to make decisions and say things that aren’t popular with everyone. Whoever ends up as our new PM next week will have the exact same problem and I refuse to believe that we won’t be talking about them with the same disregard six months down the line.

By far the most insulting thing I’ve heard today is Adam Boulton’s surmise of the woman at the centre of this controversy; ‘Mrs Duffy, while clearly not the most literate of people…’ If ever there was a more insulting, sweeping generalisation of the very people who help pay Boulton’s wages – the people of this great nation – that’s it and it was far, far worse than Brown’s comments today.

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Jul 22 2009
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In the news, Technology

Dell Boy PC Repair Shops in Poor Service Shocker

'Looks like she needs a new motherboard, sir.'

'Looks like she needs a new motherboard, sir.'

My love/hate relationship with Sky News continues apace.  Their recent gloomy reports of yet further financial disaster due to the outbreak of swine flu have annoyed me greatly and their insistence on basing the majority of their reports on assumption as opposed to fact is very irritating.

However, I’m happy to say I’m quite pleased with them today for running this story on the frighteningly bad service offered by local PC repair shops.

OK, so the most excitable of news channels still can’t stop themselves stating the bleedin’ obvious…

Some computer repair shops are illegally accessing personal data on customers’ hard drives – and even trying to hack their bank accounts, a Sky News investigation has found.

…but at least they get straight to the point.  The worrying thing is that this kind of stuff needs highlighting; I shudder to think how many innocent non-PC literate people are ripped off on a daily basis because of Dell Boy PC repair men who make the same sucking sounds mechanics do when ‘your camshaft has smashed into your valves, mate’.

The findings of Sky News’ investigation were pretty frightening, though.  Having loosened a memory stick in a laptop filled with images of near naked ladies and fake bank account details, Sky’s crack team of undercover journalists entered a laptop repair shop in West London and asked them to look into why it wasn’t booting up properly.

Within seconds of the pretend customer leaving the shop, Revival Computers’ staff quickly sussed out there was a loose memory module, reinserted it correctly and proceeded to crack on with the important job of looking through any and all folders with the word ‘private’ in their name.  They also unearthed the planted fake bank account details and tried to access the account ‘several times’.

This news may come as a real shock to some, but I’m not at all surprised.  Although I work in the I.T. industry and have a healthy understanding of PCs, I wouldn’t even take my PC to PC World to be fixed, let alone a back street shop.

Our PCs and laptops contain everything dear to us these days and it staggers me to think that people willingly give them to complete strangers to fix.  At the very least, you’re going to get ripped off.  Indeed, one shop Sky News took their ‘faulty’ laptop to explained that it would need a new motherboard at the cost of £100.

I can only offer one piece of advice.  I doubt there are many people out there who don’t know someone either in their family or amongst their friends who is handy with computers.  Always, always, use these people.  Speaking as one of those regularly called on by family and friends, just make sure you buy them a beer or two to say thanks!

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Jul 20 2009
1 Comment
Business, General, In the news

Swine flu puts the boot in

A US trader get's some financial advice from his GP.

A US trader get's some financial advice from his GP.

So, not only are we all going to die from swine flu, today we learn that before we cough and splutter our way into oblivion, our wallet is going to be hit by the bug too.

‘SWINE FLU COULD TIP ECONOMY OVER THE EDGE’, shouts the Sky News website.  According to the news bully, 7.5% is how far the economy could contract if people start making excuses about ‘sniffing and stuff’ and stop coming into work.

Just as there appeared to by a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, a killer bug stomps into the pre party preparations and puts its boot square into the plate of party rings.  Thanks a lot, Mother Nature.

Well, actually, no.  I’m not having this.  I’m fed up of the doom mongering media we are surrounded by these days.  They’re not happy unless we’re all fatally miserable.  And the worst thing is, we can’t get away from them – they’re on our TV, on our phone, on the newstand and regularly the subject of water cooler conversations.  I’m not falling for it this time, though.

Why do we revel in misery?  Swine Flu is perfectly treatable; we’re not talking months off work for everyone that gets it.  Why is it any different to any other type of bug?  In 2009, why should we fear something we can predict, treat and cure?

What really concerns me is the affect this type of press has on the public.  I’m convinced the most obvious sideeffect of a recession (a drop in public spending), was exacerbated in 2009′s case by gloomy news reports every time a TV was switched on or a paper read.  Why would any of us spend our hard earned when we’re racked with fear over loosing our jobs and homes?

The R word has barely figured in headline news for the last month and as a result consumer confidence appears to have increased.  It couldn’t last though, could it?

Swine Flu isn’t the threat we face, nor is the city boy’s penchant for an immoral bonus or two.  No, the threat weighs twenty stone, wears an ill fitting suit, sits behind a news ticker and answers to the name of Eamonn.

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Feb 23 2009
2 Comments
Facebook, In the news, Technology

So, We’re Addicted to Facebook, Say Sky News … I Have to Agree

Facebook logo

Top Modern Addictions:

    1. Coffee

    2. Chocolate

    3. Facebook

    4. Beauty Products

    5. Checking bank statements

    6. Junk Food

    7. Celebrity Gossip and Reality TV

    8. Exercise

    9. Retail Therapy

    10. The Blackberry/I Phone

    Source: Sky News

That’s what the vast majority of Brits are addicted to, according to a recent survey.  Whilst I question the inclusion of ‘Retail Therapy’ and ‘Exercise’, I heartily agree with everything else, particularly Facebook.

I joined Facebook in order to stop my sister telling me to ‘join Facebook!’ every time we met up.  On the whole, it’s been a good experience; I’ve got back in touch with some school friends and regularly have a laugh (or wince) at my mates’ status updates.

There’s a downside to Facebook, though, and that is the insistence of people to post inane comments on their friends status’.  Why do they do this?  I can’t think of a worse waste of anyone’s time than typing ‘Lol, yeah right’ into a comment box.  It is literally pointless.

Something else that cheeses me off are all those people I went to school with who feel obliged to add me as a friend.  I got rid of a load of them recently and it felt great.  I have no inclination to hear thirty-second status updates from someone I once shared eye contact with at school.  Just go away, I don’t care.

What worries me more is my particular addiction to the site.  I rarely visit the actual website itself, I’ll instead (quite regularly) open the iPhone App, read people’s status’s and update mine.  And that’s about it.  Occasionally I’ll add some photos from a recent trip or holiday, but if you ran a report on my Facebook activity it would err somewhat alarmingly to the equally pointless activity of status updating.

I’m not sure why I do it.  Or what I used to do pre-Facebook during the brief minutes it takes to update said status.

Should I be worried?  Is this an issue for the doctor to attend to?  Or are there more of me out there…?

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Feb 02 2009
2 Comments
General, In the news

It’s Snowing! Quick, Panic!

Snowfall in London. Time to cancel everything, then. Including the Tube (?).

 

I sincerely hope that none of our friends on the continent have been watching Sky News this morning. If they have caught glimpses of the headlines I’d imagine they’re probably still rolling around on the floor, tears streaming down their face in fits of uncontrollable laughter.

A few inches of the white stuff and this country coughs, puffs and eventually grinds to a halt. It’s embarrassing.

What’s more, all news items seems to be fixated on our glorious capital, the occupants of which have seemingly never witnessed snow before. Inane pictures of people’s temporarily fluffy white cars somehow made the headlines as did the closure of major roads and rail networks.

Even the Tube was closed. I’m sorry? It’s underground. How much snow can fall underground? I really cannot fathom that one.

And why can’t planes take off in the snow? How do they manage in the Antarctic or Iceland?

It worries me all this. What would we do in a real disaster situation? I am genuinely quite frightened at the prospect if we can’t even deal with snowfall.

I live in Northampton which had its fair share over night. It hasn’t affected my day even slightly. I wasn’t late to work, I didn’t miss my dentist appointment and, unlike the Peugeot I saw on the way to the Tooth Fairy, didn’t stack my car into a wall.

If anything, the journey into work this morning was blissful; relatively quiet and punctuated by stunning scenes of snow-covered hills. I just wish I’d remembered my camera.

The last thing we need during a recession is for people to be given yet another excuse not to bother with work. If you have heeded warnings of staying in today, you’ve wasted your time and, more importantly, your contribution towards reviving the economy. Get off your backside, get in your car and make your way to work – your country, as pathetic as it is, needs you.

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Jan 06 2009
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Business, In the news

So that’s it, then. We’re all going to lose our jobs.

It appears the credit crunch crisis is only deepening as we dive nose first into a sub-zero January. The last Woolworths store finally closes today and high street stores Next and Debenhams have both reported losses this morning.

Indeed, if you take a glance at Sky News’ business page, we’re also informed that M&S might be announcing job cuts, consumer confidence is at a record low, hundreds of high street jobs have been axed and house prices have fallen at a record rate. Hand me the knife…

Forgive me for being blasé, but this isn’t quite the optimistic start to the year I was hoping for. Delve a little deeper and you discover that the drop in sales for Next is actually countered by a rise in profits, a far more important figure. Turnover: vanity, profit: sanity – a motto I regularly think back to whilst conducting my day to day work. I understand that a drop in sales revenue is indicative of a lack of consumer confidence, but at least these companies are making money. If they’re making money, they can pay staff, and those staff will eventually regain the confidence to pop into town and spend a bit of their hard-earned. And we all benefit from that (it’s a bit like the circle of life reference in The Lion King, only far more boring and lacking any cutesy lion cub).

But this is the crux of the problem. How do we get that confidence back? It certainly isn’t easy with all the doom mongering in the media and the po-faced heads of industry predicting colossal job cuts. We’re supposed to be a stoic, proud country, but one glance at the headlines this morning suggests we’ve simply given in and begun crying into our empty wallets.

The answer certainly isn’t to spend our way out of recession, it is to lift our heads, get back to our desks and work our proverbials off. That’s what I’ll be doing this year. I just hope everyone else does, or else we will be in the sticky stuff.

Oh, and don’t take anything Eamonn Holmes says too seriously. He used to present GMTV, remember.

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