Twittering at Work

I’m still unsure as to what Twitter’s merits are for the average human being. “Mark is making a cup of tea”. I don’t think anyone cares what I’m doing. Even I struggle to care at times.

I do seem to have stumbled across a possible use for the networking site today, however. It appears to be a viable marketing channel, allowing businesses to quickly issue news ‘bites’ relating to new product releases and updates. This could prove perfect for our business which is software development. Rather than relying solely on e-shots and – the highly ineffectual – traditional mail shots, a quick ‘Twitter’ will inform any of our followers that we’ve just released a new version of product X. Think about it, what quicker way is there to release information en-masse? Twitter is growing massively by the day and the traffic it can generate is substantial.

It’s early days, but I’ve set up and account and will be informing customers of its existence soon. What is there to lose? Well, within five minutes of the account open we were being followed by Sarah, a girl seemingly content with brandishing the majority of her chest area to internet users and informing us that she is ‘bored and ready to chat’. I didn’t think she’d be particularly interested in the merits of a property management system, and therefore blocked her.

Someone in the office believes Sarah may simply have been a ‘bot’, a non-human entity terrorising cyberspace, as it were. If this is true, and if Twitter is subject to such pointless entities, it could prove to be one downfall.

Breast-brandishing bots aside, I think this could be an interesting experiment. Any ideas on how to make best use of Twitter at work would gladly be received!

So, We’re Addicted to Facebook, Say Sky News … I Have to Agree

Facebook logo

Top Modern Addictions:

    1. Coffee

    2. Chocolate

    3. Facebook

    4. Beauty Products

    5. Checking bank statements

    6. Junk Food

    7. Celebrity Gossip and Reality TV

    8. Exercise

    9. Retail Therapy

    10. The Blackberry/I Phone

    Source: Sky News

That’s what the vast majority of Brits are addicted to, according to a recent survey.  Whilst I question the inclusion of ‘Retail Therapy’ and ‘Exercise’, I heartily agree with everything else, particularly Facebook.

I joined Facebook in order to stop my sister telling me to ‘join Facebook!’ every time we met up.  On the whole, it’s been a good experience; I’ve got back in touch with some school friends and regularly have a laugh (or wince) at my mates’ status updates.

There’s a downside to Facebook, though, and that is the insistence of people to post inane comments on their friends status’.  Why do they do this?  I can’t think of a worse waste of anyone’s time than typing ‘Lol, yeah right’ into a comment box.  It is literally pointless.

Something else that cheeses me off are all those people I went to school with who feel obliged to add me as a friend.  I got rid of a load of them recently and it felt great.  I have no inclination to hear thirty-second status updates from someone I once shared eye contact with at school.  Just go away, I don’t care.

What worries me more is my particular addiction to the site.  I rarely visit the actual website itself, I’ll instead (quite regularly) open the iPhone App, read people’s status’s and update mine.  And that’s about it.  Occasionally I’ll add some photos from a recent trip or holiday, but if you ran a report on my Facebook activity it would err somewhat alarmingly to the equally pointless activity of status updating.

I’m not sure why I do it.  Or what I used to do pre-Facebook during the brief minutes it takes to update said status.

Should I be worried?  Is this an issue for the doctor to attend to?  Or are there more of me out there…?

iPhone Apps … Just How Useful Are They?

I’ve just had an App cull.  Like many iPhone users out there, my device was clogged up with iRubbish I’d originally downloaded because it looked ‘cool’ or provoked me to comment ‘wow, that could be useful!’.

iLevel, for example.  Here is an App that claims to be a viable replacement for one of workmens’ most essential tools.  It’s not, I’m afraid.  Sure, it may be pretty accurate, but who in their right mind is going to place their shiny iPhone on a grubby work surface you’ve just spent three hours sawing and smashing with a hammer (granted, I’m not much of a DIY’er).

The cull has prompted me to question the relevance of many Apps.  The word ‘fad’ is perfect in this instance.  90% of the Apps I’ve downloaded have been very faddy.  iFart is funny, for about three minutes. iPity will make your mates laugh like girls at random Mr T comments and the old classic, iPint, never fails to impress at social gatherings.

Dont get me wrong, Apple have done a marvelous job with the iPhone 3G and the addition of Apps is at times genuinely rewarding.  ‘My Football’ for example, is a brilliant tool for quickly checking football scores.  The Facebook App is also very good, if a little too addictive.  The problem is, as I scroll through the few that are left, there aren’t any others that jump out at me.  In fact, I could probably have another cull…

Best Player in the World? Really?

‘We’ve seen every side of him today,’ said Gary Lineker of Christiano Ronaldo’s performance against Blackburn yesterday. Indeed we did. More importantly, we saw yet more evidence that he is the most overrated player on this planet.

When will people realise he simply isn’t quite as good as his acolades and awards suggest? Lazy, selfish, petulent and more obsessed with his free kick technique than teamwork, he isn’t a player I’d want in my team.

How many times have we seen him trick himself into no man’s land this season? Eighty-seven step overs later and he’s given the ball away when the simple pass should had been his first thought. This is always followed by inane hand waving and praying to the gods. I despair. Or at least I would if I was a Utd fan. Suffice to say I’m not. At all.

ITV commentators may worship this man but give me a Torres or Gerrard any day. And no, I’m not a Liverpool fan either.

It’s Snowing! Quick, Panic!

Snowfall in London. Time to cancel everything, then. Including the Tube (?).


I sincerely hope that none of our friends on the continent have been watching Sky News this morning. If they have caught glimpses of the headlines I’d imagine they’re probably still rolling around on the floor, tears streaming down their face in fits of uncontrollable laughter.

A few inches of the white stuff and this country coughs, puffs and eventually grinds to a halt. It’s embarrassing.

What’s more, all news items seems to be fixated on our glorious capital, the occupants of which have seemingly never witnessed snow before. Inane pictures of people’s temporarily fluffy white cars somehow made the headlines as did the closure of major roads and rail networks.

Even the Tube was closed. I’m sorry? It’s underground. How much snow can fall underground? I really cannot fathom that one.

And why can’t planes take off in the snow? How do they manage in the Antarctic or Iceland?

It worries me all this. What would we do in a real disaster situation? I am genuinely quite frightened at the prospect if we can’t even deal with snowfall.

I live in Northampton which had its fair share over night. It hasn’t affected my day even slightly. I wasn’t late to work, I didn’t miss my dentist appointment and, unlike the Peugeot I saw on the way to the Tooth Fairy, didn’t stack my car into a wall.

If anything, the journey into work this morning was blissful; relatively quiet and punctuated by stunning scenes of snow-covered hills. I just wish I’d remembered my camera.

The last thing we need during a recession is for people to be given yet another excuse not to bother with work. If you have heeded warnings of staying in today, you’ve wasted your time and, more importantly, your contribution towards reviving the economy. Get off your backside, get in your car and make your way to work – your country, as pathetic as it is, needs you.