Scott Mills: Proof I’m Getting Old?


Scott Mills - spoilt by hangers-on
Scott Mills - spoilt by hangers-on

There comes a time in everyone’s life when an overwhelming feeling of ‘oh god, I’m getting old’ begins to surface on a daily basis.  Perhaps you struggle to find a town centre pub in which you can enjoy a ‘quiet drink’, maybe the younger guys you work with all suddenly appear to be acting like school kids, that PS3 you bought three years ago suddenly looks far less tempting… for me, it happens every time I tune into Radio One and catch the Scott Mills Show.

The title for this post is perhaps a little harsh.  Mills himself is actually tolerable, and at times even marginally amusing.  He clearly has a talent for broadcasting which the BBC admire.

The problem with the show are the hangers-on who seem to be a nagging, whining, whooping irritant in the background of almost every radio show these days, bar Chris Moyles’ breakfast jaunt which is genuinely funny.  Even Jonathan Ross has one.  I’m not sure of his name or what is role is, but he appears to be employed simply to giggle at anything and everything Ross says.  Indeed, he ruins what is a pretty good podcast.

Mills’ bunch are something else, though.  There’s one who doesn’t talk, which in itself is irritating.  Irritating, because we wouldn’t know he was there if they didn’t call him ‘The One That Doesn’t Talk’.  I can’t imagine that moniker ever being either funny or informative – two pre-requisites of most radio shows.

Chappers, the sports news reader, was described by my girlfriend recently as ‘slimy’, and that’s a pretty accurate description.  Aside from occasionally reading the news, he spends the majority of his time on air laughing almost incoherently at nothing.  There are either many cliquey in-jokes between the Mills team, or I’m simply missing the point.  We all know Scott Mills is gay, and lots of Chappers’ sniggering can be pinpointed to an underlying acknowledgement of some form of innuendo.  This simply isn’t funny, and hearing him faux-giggle himself to death has nearly lost me my car radio on many an occasion.

Last, but by definitely not least, there is a girl called Becky.  I have no idea what her role is, but it too consists principally of her constantly laughing at nothing.  An atypical posh bird the BBC is adept at employing, her insistent, childish chuckles whenever Scott says something remotely sarcastic or irreverent, are always the cue for me to come to my senses and switch to Radio 2.  She is by far the all encompassing reason for my new found hatred of this show.

So, am I simply growing out of this station?  Is this a form of entertainment for the new teenage and 20-something generations?  I sincerely hope not, as it’s the most vacuous, unintelligible, uninspiring dross I can recall hearing.

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