Get lost.

The venue was the local jungle. Alright, forest. Alright, collection of trees opposite Harlestone garden centre.

An upcoming area, fallen

Both women were fat. Both bent awkwardly over their pushchairs, snotty-nosed babies looking as miserable as the house from which they had vacated. Our crossing of paths was brief; I, walking the dog during a short lunchtime break from the confines of the office, they, walking, presumably, to fetch their giro. Yet in that briefest … Continue reading An upcoming area, fallen

Business acumen? Grammar is what I’m worried about, Lord Sugar.

We know how it works. The premise is simple. Round up fifteen or so ‘business people’ and put them in front of Lord ‘Bongo Drums’ Sugar. They must have vague job titles which include the words ‘global’ ‘brand’ and ‘manager’ (in fact, there’s one right there). They must have faces you wouldn’t tire of driving … Continue reading Business acumen? Grammar is what I’m worried about, Lord Sugar.

Man up. Start a fire.

If you’ve bought a chimenea, you’ll know that they need ‘conditioning’. This involves slowly burning kindling and paper two or three times in order to… ok, I have no idea why, but if you don’t your lovely piece of garden pottery will apparently crack into three billion pieces.