British Smash the ten years they've paid someone else to pump gas and electricity into my house, the only offer I've had from them is for boiler cover. Or a new boiler. Free of charge, I wondered? No, I'd have to pay for either, but they would send the nice smiley man you see on the adverts who definitely wouldn't rape me.

Now Showing: Sky News Earthquake Coverage

There is something deeply unsettling about Sky News and their insistence on making blockbusters out of real-life disasters. They seem eager – desperate, almost – for something horrific to happen just so they can create a new logo and theme tune to market it.

It’s Snowing! Quick, Panic!

Snowfall in London. Time to cancel everything, then. Including the Tube (?).  I sincerely hope that none of our friends on the continent have been watching Sky News this morning. If they have caught glimpses of the headlines I'd imagine they're probably still rolling around on the floor, tears streaming down their face in fits … Continue reading It’s Snowing! Quick, Panic!

So that’s it, then. We’re all going to lose our jobs.

It appears the credit crunch crisis is only deepening as we dive nose first into a sub-zero January. The last Woolworths store finally closes today and high street stores Next and Debenhams have both reported losses this morning. Indeed, if you take a glance at Sky News' business page, we're also informed that M&S might … Continue reading So that’s it, then. We’re all going to lose our jobs.